Please Grab!

A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn’t work. The clerk told her that he couldn’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.

All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, “Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!”

The clerk didn’t know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked her if he could help.

She explained that she wanted to return the non-working toaster for refund, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she bought the toaster on special.

Once again she yelled, “Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!”

The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that particular phrase. She replied, “Because I like my tits grabbed when I’m getting screwed!”

Classic Archive: Itzhak Perlman - Elgar, Prokofiev & Saint-Saens

I ‘ I’ Х great advantage of DVD Is the opportunity to watch players at short range, an advantage taken at its best in a top-quality recording, where, if you get fed up with fiddly camera angles, you can always just close your eyes.To that extent, these BBC recordings make a frustrating disc.The earliest recording here, of Saint-Saens’s Introduction et Rondo capriccioso. dates from 1970, followed by the Prokofiev in 1980 and the Elgar in 1981, and listening to such comparatively modern recordings in mono is somewhere between a tease and really annoying. The quality of the playing is, of course, phenomenal, with the odd fiuff of a live performance irrelevant in the context of playing by a man at the height of his abilities, his deep involvement In the music and his joy in performing it to an audience clear to see.

The Prokofiev, performed in an unidentified hall (the information given is minimal), sizzles, the pyrotechnics dispatched with jawdropping ease, the melodies quarried out of the instrument.The first movement of the Eigar Concerto, recorded at a Royal Albert Hall Prom, is taken at a cracking pace,all fire and virtuosity.The Andante, too, is on the brisk side, and for all the richness of the playing sounds as if it could have benefited from a little more room to breathe. The Saint-Saens is great fun.

Musically this is a rewarding DVD, given the caveat above, but the real joy of it is to watch the magic close-up - and still not be able to see how it’s done.

You can buy this disc here

The Sun Also Sets

In your Alan Wake cover story, Alan notes that “the sun rises over the Pacific Ocean” and “sets over the Cascade mountain range,” You should have labeled this a spoiler, as he is obviously delusional. In the real world, the sun rises in the east (Cascade Mountains) and sets in the west (Pacific Ocean)

I’m here to tell you it’s time to get out of your rocking chair and back into the game. The only reason it took me so long to write was I couldn t find my magnifying glass to read your e-mail address. There are more of us playing World of WarCraft than you can imagine. I’m a 57-year-otd grandmother who received the game as a Christmas present from my grandson; since I like playing games, he thought this one would be for me, I was fearful at first because I have never played an interactive game with real people before, and I was afraid of making mistakes, but I soon learned that if i did, someone would let me know. So off I went. That was over one year ago and I’m still playing. 1 have met many others my age and older who are playing.

Even with the release of the The Burning Crusade. I have yet to find a senior citizen center in any of the new towns, I feel the game keeps my mind sharp, trying to figure out how many more Muriocs I have to kill before I dir)g. At the beginning, 1 was hurt every time a Horde character spit on me. Now I only have one thing to say to them: “U JUST BEEN PWNED BY GRAMMY, U SUX, U SUX.”

Oh sorry, where was I - right, I very much enjoy the game and hope this helps you realize you are still a spring chicken, sonny. Get out there and save our world.